BEER !
Publié : avril 10, 2006, 10:47 am
> Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shamed.
> Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the
> vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams If I didn't drink this
> wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered.
> Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let
> their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
> ~ Jack Handy
> WARNING:
> The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
> happened to your bra and panties.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the
> morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. " ~Frank
> Sinatra
> WARNING:
> The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
> tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
> ~ Henny Youngman
> WARNING:
> The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing
> WITH you.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case.
> Coincidence? I think not." ~
> Stephen Wright
> WARNING:
> The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> "When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When
> we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
> When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go
> to heaven!"
> ~ Brian O'Rourke
> WARNING:
> The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
> ~ Benjamin Franklin
> WARNING:
> The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a
> retard.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind
> is beer.
> Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the
> wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." ~ Dave Barry
> WARNING:
> The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and
> over again that you love them.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a
> can!
> ~ Dave Howell
> WARNING:
> The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically
> converse with members of the opposite s e x without spitting.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers.
> One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo
> Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it
> went:
>
> "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move
> as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the
> slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This
> natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general
> speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular
> killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain
> can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake
> of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks
> the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular
> consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the
> brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel
> smarter after a few beers."
> Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the
> vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams If I didn't drink this
> wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered.
> Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let
> their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
> ~ Jack Handy
> WARNING:
> The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
> happened to your bra and panties.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the
> morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. " ~Frank
> Sinatra
> WARNING:
> The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
> tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
> ~ Henny Youngman
> WARNING:
> The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing
> WITH you.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case.
> Coincidence? I think not." ~
> Stephen Wright
> WARNING:
> The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> "When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When
> we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
> When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go
> to heaven!"
> ~ Brian O'Rourke
> WARNING:
> The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
> ~ Benjamin Franklin
> WARNING:
> The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a
> retard.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind
> is beer.
> Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the
> wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." ~ Dave Barry
> WARNING:
> The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and
> over again that you love them.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a
> can!
> ~ Dave Howell
> WARNING:
> The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically
> converse with members of the opposite s e x without spitting.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers.
> One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo
> Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it
> went:
>
> "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move
> as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the
> slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This
> natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general
> speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular
> killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain
> can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake
> of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks
> the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular
> consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the
> brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel
> smarter after a few beers."